I once read something where a couple had been married for like a millions years (not too much of an exaggeration) and someone asked them what their secret was. They’re reply was simply that they did not fall out of love with each other at the same time. I read this and for whatever reason it stuck in my brain, so simple, so real, so truthful.
I have now been married for 4 years 3 months and 17 days, give or take some, and this explanation has never made more sense to me as it does now. My husband and I have been though some insane turbulent times, from having no gas in the dead of winter for many months, no vehicle, no money, barely any food, to having it all and buying a nice new vehicle and moving into a nice house, etc. We have seen the really bad, exhausting times, and we have seen our most wonderful highs but the point is together we stayed, no matter the discomfort life put us in, we stayed together; No matter the circumstance we always have supported one another against the world, no matter how exhausted we were together, we never allowed the world to separate us as a team.
We have fought, and when I say “fought” I mean FOUGHT some extreme excessive dirty fights together, many below the belt blows we have given and taken are incomprehensible to a “normal eye.” I have said some unforgiving, self-destroying, disturbingly hateful, soul dissolving things that I wish so badly I could take back; things that I never meant to say I just needed my husband to feel the same amount of pain I felt so just maybe he could understand. I live with a lot of regret and a lot of pain in my soul, twice now we have gotten to the point of contacting divorce lawyers and moving into a separate room for an indescribable amount of time. Something’s I feel cannot be forgotten but I am learning how to forgive.
Though all of these disturbing complex situations our marriage may have been tattered and shredded but never dissipated. We have still walked through the tunnels of hell hand in hand sympathetic of each other’s pain only to look at each other and fall in love all over again, just so much deeper each time. My husband and I have also shared some really beautiful moments in time that I refuse to ever forget, some as simple as a drive thru meal at taco bell and getting a silly taco packet. I often look back to these times of happiness when I am sad and discouraged and cannot help but grin like a fool, at times I may miss these moments but I am grateful that I have actually had time unlike many. I am so grateful that no matter how torturous things got between the two of us, we never gave up, God never allowed us to give up; he held us together and kept us strong.
I believe God is the culprit behind our meeting, I believe he lead us to that very beer isle in Wal-Mart with the smallest amount of knowledge of each other to ignite a spark of something greater than what we could ever imagine. Even though I have at times hated my husband, I have never not loved him. As we grow older together I see these flowers blossom in my eye, shedding nothing but love and light on our future. I once thought if the power went out my world would once again end, how very wrong we can be at such desperate times of pain and anger. God has a plan, whether or not you accept it as your life path or not, he will always rule in the end, he does nothing but bring love and joy into our hearts and souls with the attempts to teach us to share these lessons and learn to grow in peace. I have come a long way in my life and together we have come a long way in our marriage.
Today, I love my husband more than I ever thought I could love a human being, even with the deepest pits of the past I could not have found a person more perfect for me, he is the ying to my yang, the salt to my pepper, the washer to my dryer, ice cream to my apple pie, the frosting to my cupcake, basically his existence in my life brings out the best shades of myself to ever exist, I love you yogi, forever and for always.
Confessions of the Lost but Recently Found 